Alzheimer's is a Dance

Have you ever thought you knew somebody and understood them but turn around and it seems they are something completely different? 

This can happen in any relationship we are in, and I certainly have been in a few like it in my life.  Most recently though – I have found in caring for my Granny that some days she seems to be somebody I don’t even recognize.  I leave one afternoon having spent the day with the woman I grew up with – sweet, caring, a little bit on the naïve side but always loving and generous.  The next morning I arrive and it’s as if some stranger has taken her place.  When did the aliens start abducting my Granny for a night and leaving this strange woman in her place? 

I know it hurts her as much as it hurts me.  I know many parts of this disease she simply doesn’t understand at all.  She can’t comprehend fully why or how things come up missing and gets hurt and angry when we mention she is the one that hid them or threw them away.  She feels like we are making fun of her all the time, when in reality – we work so hard to be gentle, respectful and understanding.  She thinks some of her family doesn’t love her anymore because they no longer stop in for a visit.  It’s hard to explain to her that it’s much harder for them to see her in an angry or disoriented state than she can imagine.  

I have worked in the medical field off and on for ten years now.  I have been around many Alzheimer’s patients in many situations.  I have seen patients with severe dementia that seriously thought they had been abducted by aliens, abused by family members or were millionaires on a luxury vacation.  What happens in our brains as we age or are affected by disease amazes me.  From a medical standpoint I am curious about its origins, what its causes are and how it can be prevented.  From a granddaughter and caregivers standpoint I hate it.  I want it gone.  I curse the day it became a problem in our life and I would give anything for a cure that would not only stop it in its tracks but repair the damage done already. 

This journey continues to amaze me.  The little things that make a difference surprise me every day, and the rational normal moments that appear give me hope and break my heart all at once.  I think about the book/movie The Notebook almost every single day.  The staff and doctors had no hope for her – but he knew that woman he loved was in there somewhere – if only he could reach her for a moment, and they could dance.  Each day I get out of my car, take a deep breath and walk up the ramp to the door.  As I open the door I pray that today is a day when there is a smile greeting me and happiness that I am there.  I know once I cross that threshold I am there for the duration regardless of what greets me.  

The days of knowing and understanding are behind me…now are the days of loving and having compassion regardless of the actions and words that are presented.  Just like in the movie – I wait for the days when I can see my Granny as she was – those glimmers of the dance.

Sharp Shirter iPhone Case Review and GIVEAWAY

SharpShirter.com is yet another awesome home for cool novelty tees and accessories.  I was excited to get a chance to do a review for them of their one of a kind iphone cases!  Although I don’t have an iphone myself, one of my good friends and her boyfriend both do and thus I knew I’d be able to host a giveaway, give a review AND make one of my friends happy with a cool new case for her newly purchased iphone!

The case itself is not flimsy like some – it is definitely a solid and good quality piece with the very unique (only available to SharpShirter.com) graphic design.  Although the case I received for review was a more masculine theme, I still found it to be cool and unique.  Sharpshirter currently carries multiple t-shirt design choices and multiple unique to them only iphone case choices.  

SharpShirter was generous enough to offer one of You Brew My Tea’s readers a chance to win an iphone case all their own!!!  Check out the giveaway entries below on our first ever Rafflecopter Giveaway!  Yay!

**Thanks again to SharpShirter.com for the awesome opportunity to review their great products.  I was not monetarily compensated for my review.  I received the above mentioned item in exchange for my honest review on this blog.**

Week 1 of Nutrisystem Success Nearing an End!

I am nearing the end of my first week of Nutrisystem Success Program and I have good and bad things to say about the Success program.  As always, I promise to be truthful here on my blog – especially in reviews of products and services.

The program includes a breakfast entrée, protein drink, lunch entrée, dinner entrée and a snack/dessert.  I am to incorporate fresh fruits and vegetables as well as what they call PowerFuels and SmartCarbs throughout the day to complete the program.  Following the guidelines I have setup my additional add-ins and measured to make sure I do get the exact amounts suggested.  I want to stay within the calorie range they recommend.  I’ve continued drinking more water and exercising each day as well.

This week due to my Dad having tests run and us finding out he will be having a triple bypass surgery next week some time (yet another reason I need/want to get healthy), my schedule has been WAY out of whack.  I've been literally eating on the run - in the car - and when I had a chance.  I was super impressed with the ease in grabbing the meal bars and a few good add-ins and going.  I have to say - that although the temptation to pull through the drive through was strong, I totally managed to avoid that for myself all week!

The BAD I’ve found so far:

• I feel like I’m eating MORE now than I ever do.  I honestly love food, but generally speaking don’t eat this much every day.  My big meals tend to be on the weekends but throughout the week I eat much smaller meals/portions than I am now with Nutrisystem.
• The protein shakes are well, disgusting.  I’ve tried all the flavors and nope – just can’t seem to drink them.  I realize this is part of the program but it is VERY difficult to drink when you are gagging the whole time and nauseated for an hour afterwards.  Lol!  Protein shakes just NEVER taste good – I don’t care who you are – they are not “delicious” in any way shape or form!!!
• The products are labeled as low sodium and the instructions on add-ins recommend using no or little salt.  I am not a HUGE salt person usually – but I wonder, could I be retaining water because there is NO salt in my food these days?  Hmm..just a thought to ponder since for a couple of days early in the week I felt very bloated and the scale jumped up.  (Not pms nor tummy issues either.)

The GOOD I’ve found so far:

• The majority of the food provided is delicious.  Although some of the “Mexican” dishes are overly spicy – overall I have found everything to be well seasoned and tasty.  Textures have been great so far and overall the food is definitely what I call “high end tv dinner” quality. 
• I finally found a meal replacement bar that doesn’t taste like a protein bar and that is satisfying!  The Double Chocolate Caramel Meal Replacement bar is a new favorite of mine.  Super soft/crunch/yummy! 
• The online support forum is a fabulous place to go for help with questions, venting and overall weight loss support.  The people there have all BEEN in my shoes before or ARE in my shoes now.  There is honesty about the food and the program, yet a sense of camaraderie that I haven’t felt since I participated in a Mommy Forum several years ago.  I can foresee making lifelong friends there.

Overall my first week with the program has been good.  I am concerned about the weight gain at this point as well as the fact that I feel like I’m eating more than I normally would, but I imagine both of those things will settle out in the next few weeks.  The program is easy to follow and there are tons of good suggestions in the books and on the website of how to get in your extra water, veggies, fruit and of course exercise. And for someone who has had to pack easy to eat lunches all week (that didn't require much if any refrigeration or reheating) the options were superb.  I was totally wowed by the Chicken Salad also!  Definitely on my must get list next month too!
 

**I was not monetarily compensated for my review of the Nutrisystem Success Program.  I received the products and support as part of the Nutrisystem Blog Nation program in exchange for my honest review on this blog.**

Thanks to Nutrisystem for including me in this awesome opportunity!  Are you overweight and need a boost of help to drop a few or a lot of extra pounds?  Check out Nutrisystem today!  Or call them at 1-888-853-4689!

Daddy I love you SOOOOOO Much!

By the time this is posted, my Dad will be in the Heart Cath Lab at our local hospital.  This procedure is something simple and not generally a stressful experience, but for me and my family it is terrifying.  Heart Cath is a normal and simple outpatient procedure where the physician goes in through an artery in your leg/groin or arm with a wire to determine if you have any blockages in your arteries.  Generally speaking if there is a blockage then within hours you will be in the OR and having stints placed.  It’s done every day all over the nation for hundreds of thousands of people with great success and very little trauma. 

But those other people – they aren’t my Daddy.  

I’m a Daddy’s girl.  I always have been.  When I was little, I would climb up between him and my mom in the front seat of our car and I would lean my head on his shoulder and say, “Daddy…I love you SOOOO much!” and then he would ask me what I wanted – and in many cases – I would get my way.  I have always been a lot like him, yet in many ways his complete opposite.  I grew up wanting his approval in everything and then, found myself on the opposite side of the spectrum doing all the things he didn’t approve of because I felt like I couldn’t be what he wanted no matter how hard I tried.  There was much truth to that.  My Daddy and me – we have had a lot of years of anger and pain between us.  There are many old hurts and bad feelings that had to be overcome.  I don’t think we’ve ever really discussed those things as much as we came to a silent truce to let go and just start loving and growing again.  The last two years after many years of stress between us – have been great.  My Daddy still doesn’t approve of all or many of my decisions – but he is once again my friend, my supporter and one of my greatest cheerleaders.  

When I found out on Monday that he would be going through this procedure my heart dropped into the pit of my stomach.  It may be simple for others but it’s complicated for him.  My Daddy is overweight – morbidly obese actually.  He suffers from uncontrolled insulin dependent diabetes.  That combined with high blood pressure, arthritis and general poor health what is usually an easy thing to have done could go bad very quickly in his case.  But more than anything – it’s the thought that my Daddy needs me more now than I need him.  The last year he has called on me to help him with so many things, and I feel blessed that he trusts me to do them for him.  At the same time, it’s tough to realize my protector, provider and the first man I ever loved could be taken from me any moment.  You never want to face the reality that your parents won’t live forever – but this week – it hits home even more than ever before for me. 

I am sure he will sail through this procedure and any subsequent procedures/surgeries needed with no problems at all – but the simple idea that he might not left a hollow place inside me.  I love my Daddy.  I’m not ready to say goodbye yet.  I need him still.  We all need him here with us. 

We covet your prayers as he goes through this procedure this Thursday and any recovery afterwards. 

Week 3 in the Gym: 11.9 Pounds Down!

I have made it through 3 weeks of going to the gym and yes – I can tell a difference.  I personally can’t look in the mirror and see a physical difference, but my boyfriend can so I guess I will believe him!  I can however tell a drastic difference in other things already.

• Much more energy on a daily basis and sleeping much better
• Gastrointestinal issues of “that time of the month” significantly better this month
• HUGE increase in endurance in cardio activities in and outside the gym

The first night I went to the gym I was truly embarrassed by how hard it was for me to simply walk on the treadmill for half an hour.  I had expected to be in bad shape – but honestly had hoped it wasn’t THAT bad.  Three weeks down the road and I can say I do indeed hold my own.  I still can’t get on the elliptical machine and go solid at a steady pace for more than ten minutes (the gal that does 45 minutes at a jogging pace amazes me every time still!) but I can get on the treadmill and walk or jog in sprints for 45 minutes or longer at an incline and a steady pace.  I am sweating, a bit winded at times and definitely wobbly sometimes when I get off – but I can do it and most importantly I AM doing it. 

I would love to look in the mirror and see the pounds slipping off my body in waves but I realize it will take time to lose this.  It took time to gain it right?  I also know that the scales are not always the best way to measure my success either.  As I continue to work my muscles harder each time I know I will gain muscle as well.  At times my weight may stall out a bit or plateau even but as long as I am continuing to eat healthy, increase and improve my workouts and see better results in my endurance I know I am doing the right thing. 

 

Do you think there is no way you can go to the gym or start exercising?  Well – you are wrong.  There is ALWAYS an option – you just have to make the choice to DO IT!  Surely if this staunch hater of all things athletic and exercise can do it so can YOU!

Encouragement for Single Big Girls Everywhere

I work out at a co-ed gym and yes, there are a ton of hot muscle bound often shirtless guys there every time I walk in.  I’m not there “looking” for a man, nor am I there to be seen so it isn’t a big deal to me anymore what I look like in the gym.  I do prefer to at least match (sort of) and not look TOO bad – but eh, if it’s old sweats and a t-shirt so be it.  I know we all have seen the perfectly coiffed, made up and manicured girls in the bright and skimpy work out gear at the gym before.   You know the ones that look like they are modeling the apparel not actually wearing it for its intended purpose. Mine has its share of those too, and I have a very encouraging story to share about that this week.  

Sunday morning I got up early and went to the gym.  There were a handful of people there including a few really hot guys lifting weights.  I did my usual and got setup on the treadmill for about 45 minutes.  During that time a couple of very giggly and very made-up girls came in and got on the treadmills near me.  Hair perfectly fixed, nails done, makeup just so and both in what looked like brand new work out gear that showed off their coordinating belly button rings.  They were hot – great bodies and nice to look at.  I minded my own business and ignored their chatter while I walked. 

When my time was up on the treadmill I got off and headed for the machines to do my weight circuit.  One of the hot guys was sitting directly across from me on one of the benches working his back and shoulder’s, I do a few reps and realize pretty quickly I need to adjust the weight lower – a bit too heavy still for me.  While I have been attempting this first part of my weight regimen, one of those girls gets off her treadmill and plants her cute little booty on the machine right by mine.  As I finally decide I’m going to have to get off and adjust the weights – I hear her saying rather loudly that she doesn’t know how to operate it and sure could use some help.  I move to adjust my weights and notice the hot muscular shirtless guy across from me get up from his bench and head our direction.  My mind immediately thinks – “helping a scantily clad damsel in distress”.  Boy was I startled when he leans over me and reaches for the control on MY machine to adjust it.  

“Here, let me help you with that.”  He says as his slightly sweaty chest rubs against mine while he leans over.  (Yes, I realize that totally sounded like a trashy romance novel – but it’s the truth!).  He helped me get the weight lowered and showed me a couple of pointers on how to do the movements more smoothly then went back to his routine.  It wasn’t long until the other girl in the giggly duo made her appearance nearby and I heard them talking about how this was going to ruin their manicures.  I looked across at my “hero” just in time to catch a wink sent my way with a grin and a shake of his head.  

I continued through my routine for another half hour and by the time I had finished was truly exhausted physically but energized as well.  I grabbed my jacket and keys and headed over to the coffee pot (love that my gym has a Keurig with tons of options of tea, coffee and cocoa all Splenda sweetened) and started a cup brewing.  My “hero” walked over and leaned against the counter while I waited.  And this was what he said: 

“They may be nice to look at, but it’s a lot nicer to see a real woman in here trying to improve herself.  You did a great job today.  Maybe we can work together sometime.”  

Yep – not exactly hitting on me, but I’ll take that as a pretty decent compliment.  Big girls – get out there and show those skinny chicks we have what it takes to make it to the gym too.  It’s not about how you look while you are doing it – it’s about WHY you are doing it in the first place!