Relationship, Health and Money

As long as I can remember, my family had a backyard garden.  I grew up in rural Arkansas where everyone had a few vegetables growing somewhere in their yard in the summer months.  If my parents didn’t have a small garden plot, my grandparents always did.  In fact, I recall my grandpa planting large gardens full of corn, peas, green beans, okra, and potatoes every summer.  Sadly, as an adult, I haven’t carried this out in my own yard.  As I get older, I realize how much a backyard garden is an ideal way for me to improve my health!

5 Ways Your Backyard Garden Improves Your Health

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Adds extra exercise into your routine. A backyard garden definitely requires a bit of work, but it’s nothing too difficult to manage.  The hardest part is setting things up initially. Once you get your garden set up and plants in the ground, you’ll find some regular work needed that can become a routine for exercise.  Removing weeds, hoeing around the plants, watering, and picking your produce once it is ready to harvest are all great forms of exercise.

Working in your garden can be a great low-impact form of exercise.  Take your time until you build up endurance, then you’ll find it is easier and easier to complete basic tasks.  With the bending and lifting you do while harvesting plants and weeding your garden, you’ll find you are building muscle strength and easily burning calories at the same time.  That’s a great combination that easily fits into your routine without requiring gym equipment.  If you have a bad back or knees, you might want to invest in a garden scooter that allows you to use just your legs to scoot around in the garden easily while being near the ground for harvesting food or pulling weeds.

Promotes better eating habits for your family.  Obviously, if you have great produce growing in your backyard garden, you are more likely to eat fresh vegetables on a regular basis.  Having fresh veggies right there to enjoy all the time will encourage you to eat them more regularly.

One thing I love about having fresh vegetables is that since they ripen on the vine in your garden, the flavors are so much brighter and better.  Tomatoes fresh from the vine in your backyard garden are the only ones I really enjoy eating.  Tomatoes I buy in the grocery store so often have no flavor, and I would just as soon not waste money on them.  The same goes for things like green beans, peas, broccoli, and even cabbage that you have grown in your own garden.  The flavors and convenience mean you will be eating healthier on a regular basis.

Reduces the risk of contamination from foods.  This isn’t a big concern for many, but as someone that has unfortunately experienced food poisoning even after cleaning fresh produce from the grocery store before, I do prefer to know exactly what my food is exposed to.  Organic gardening uses more natural compost and fertilizers which can be a great option to keep chemicals out of your food, but no matter what kind of food you are eating, you need to utilize proper safety methods in washing and preparing so nothing is contaminated.

I often use a special fruit and vegetable wash, but you can also use a sink of hot water with a cup of vinegar to do the same thing.

Improves emotional health by boosting your mood.  There is something meditative and soothing about gardening.  Watching plants grow from a tiny seed into a flourishing plant is mesmerizing.  Being outside is also great for your health. Fresh air and sunshine are great for your emotional health.  For those who struggle with anxiety and depression, a backyard garden is often an excellent choice for helping to boost mood and lower stress levels.

It helps provide lower cost food for your family.  For many families,the cost of fresh produce is the main reason their eating habits aren’t as good as they should be.  A backyard garden will give you and your family lower cost produce.  This means you are eating healthier foods that aren’t processed or unhealthy.  A backyard garden makes eating healthy affordable for anyone.

If you are considering a backyard garden this year, then consider how healthy it is for your family.  It can and will improve your health to grow your own vegetables at home.  You’ll find yourself creating more delicious healthy recipes featuring fresh produce while you are getting more exercise from tending your garden.  That sounds like a great combination to help you experience better health in my book.

Other great health and gardening tips:

• Homemade Seed Paper
• Best DIY Gardening Tips
• Ways To Use Extra Tomatoes From Your Garden
• How To Afford Healthy Foods

Winter months arrive, and it becomes harder than ever to motivate yourself to get outside and exercise. As someone who tends to actively avoid exercise, these Easy Winter Exercise Ideas are perfect for keeping me on track as the temperatures drop.

Easy Winter Exercise Ideas

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Here in Michigan, a walk in the middle of winter is nearly impossible sometimes. Between freezing temperatures and a foot or more of snow on the ground, it’s just not something that works out well. Instead, exercise tends to move indoors as the temperatures drop. If you live in an area like me, you’ll understand how this works. Included in the list below are some of the ways I find it easy to get my exercise in without spending a ton of money, or going out in the cold.

Wii Fit

A few years ago, we invested in a Wii U for our family.  This has been a great addition to our home for playing games, but I also love the Wii Fit program.  Not only can I follow simple exercise plans, but the yoga program has been amazing for stretching and balance.  This allows you to spend money on one program that offers a number of different exercise options that can work for your routine and needs.  While I go to the gym now, this is also a part of my program for days I don’t feel like getting out of the house.

Exercise Bands

After back surgery in 2015, I was told to be very careful about lifting weights.  Initially, it was a warning for the first few months, but at checkups, my doctor said that until I built up a lot more muscle tone in my body and lost weight, it was wise for me to avoid weights long term.

As a result, I have used exercise bands for a few years to help work on increasing strength without adding a lot of weight to my routine.  These are great since they use your own body weight, and can easily be folded or rolled into a bag to tuck away for travel or out of sight when you aren’t exercising.  The Starwood Sports Exercise Resistance Bands are a great deal that works amazingly for your needs.

Ice skating or Hockey

I admit to being far too afraid of falling to do this, however, it is a very popular winter sport.  There is a lot to be said about skating whether you are ice skating, roller skating, or playing hockey.  There are tons of rinks up here in Michigan that offer beginner classes, and even back in Arkansas, there was one that had classes year round.  Ice skating or playing hockey can be a great fun way to burn calories in the cooler months, plus your family will likely want to join you for this form of exercise.

Snow skiing, Snowboarding, or Sledding

Many families load up their snow skies and head out for a holiday at a lodge or resort.  If you live in an area that has lots of snow, you may find that snow skiing, snowboarding, or just simple sledding can be a ton of fun and great exercise.  Last year, our son got a wonderful sled from his sister, and the result was that we all had fun using it in the snow.  This year, I look forward to more sledding happening as the snow arrives and we enjoy days off to play.

This usually works best for someone who lives near a resort that allows for skiing or snowboarding on a regular basis, but you can make this just one small part of your easy exercise ideas for winter.  This, along with other fun winter sports, can keep you moving and burning calories without feeling trapped at home.

Exercise videos

This is one of the most popular at home exercises and is obviously an easy and affordable option.  With more and more options available on Amazon Prime to stream, you may be able to do this without any purchase at all outside your annual or monthly Prime Membership.  Other options are to rent at your local video store or to buy great sets like the Jillian Michael’s Workouts, Leslie Sansone Walk Away the Pounds, or my personal favorite, the Richard Simmon’s Sweatin’ to the Oldies program.

Yoga or Pilates

The yoga craze continues for good reason.  This meditative method of stretching also promotes amazing core strength.  Pilates is easier for some individuals, but both are excellent options that require virtually no supplies.  There are many videos out there for beginners that you can stream on Amazon Prime, but also DVD’s for purchase.  All are going to be similar, so simply pick the one that appeals the most to you and begin.  You may also find local classes available to help you get started.

Walking

Of course, I have to include the most popular of winter exercise ideas.  This simple exercise is always a must on any list, and can’t be overlooked, even with cold weather.  You can walk outside around the block, at your local school track, in the mall, or even in place using some of the Leslie Sansone routines mentioned above.

As you can see, there are a ton of options you can use for fun winter exercise without spending a ton of money. Exercise doesn’t have to fit into a specific routine. It can be as simple as heading out to go sledding with your kids, or as complicated as an aerobic exercise video. Personalize your exercise routine for winter this year with some of these tips!

More Exercise Tips: 

• Creating a Home Exercise Program You Can do Long Term
• Aerobic Exercise for Chronic Pain
• How to Exercise for Beginners
• 5 Family Fitness Goals Anyone Can Accomplish
• Tips for Getting Past a Weight Loss Plateau
• 5 Ways to Fight Cravings on Your Weight Loss Journey
• Plus Size Strength Training Plan
• How to Strength Train without Gaining Bulk
• How to Safely Lose Weight While Breastfeeding

Self-care is such a vital part of good mental health. Especially if you struggle with depression. This Self Care Plan for Seasonal Affective Disorder is a must for me. Since moving to Michigan last year, I know that I am at risk even more due to the shorter days with more potential for snow. This list is a great way to help me stay motivated and on task.

Self Care Plan for Seasonal Affective Disorder

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Developing a self-care plan is a must for me.  I have realized over the years, that if I don’t take time for myself, I fall into depression and anxiety much easier.  With SAD being a real issue, I work hard to make sure I am taking care of myself even more during the winter months.  These tips below are just part of how I manage to keep SAD at bay.

Buy yourself a small piece of jewelry.

There is something about jewelry that makes women smile. For me, however, a small piece I can wear every day is a good reminder of what I have to be happy about in my life. 7 Charming Sisters recently sent me this great bracelet and necklace to review. The bracelet is simple but beautiful, and on my wrist, I will see it throughout the day. It reminds me of my goals and how I have so much to be happy about.

Go out for lunch by yourself.

Getting out of the house is huge. It is such a necessity. Even if it is dreary or snowy out, the fresh air helps tremendously. I love cold sunny winter days, but on the dreary days, I still enjoy getting out and taking myself for lunch. Sitting down at a local cafe for an hour to enjoy a quiet meal is so motivating for me. I can relax, read a book, or just people watch. I need this for my own peace of mind.  I ask for gift cards to my favorite places for birthdays and holidays.  That way I don’t have to worry about my budget for this.

Treat yourself to new bath products.

For years, my family has always known that a nice hot bubble bath can do wonders for my emotional state. It has become almost comical that my Beau and son will say, “do you need a bath?” when I am being grumpy. So, knowing that it works, I try to keep bubble bath on hand at all times. The cheap stuff works, but I make a point to shop for deals on my favorite brands or add them to my wishlist around the holidays or my birthday.  I am really in love with Deep Sleep Lavender and Chamomile Bubble Bath right now.

Get your hair cut or colored.

Until this year, I had never done anything with my hair other than a basic trim. I splurged and had my hair cut pretty short and dyed purple. Since then, I have maintained the shorter cut and experimented with pink, purple, silver, and blue hair color. While I plan to go back to my natural brunette sooner rather than later, I have enjoyed doing this and know that the few dollars a month I spend to maintain it (I color at home), are well worth it. They make me feel good about myself.

I currently use a combination of Manic Panic Lightning Bleach Kit and Punky Hair Color.  These seem to work the best, be most affordable, and least expensive if I am doing this at home.  Otherwise, I go to the local beauty school and have it done professionally.

Take a nap after kids are at school

Sleep is the ultimate self-care tool in my book. I need a nap these days, and when I am feeling down, sometimes it is hard to not give in to the desire to sleep all day. My trick is to simply allow myself an occasional nap. I set my alarm on my phone, turn on my sleep sounds station on Amazon Music, and enjoy a nap. Usually, I wake up refreshed and feeling tons better.

Find a trusted friend to vent to when needed

My Beau is a great friend, and he tries so hard to help. The fact is though, sometimes he just can’t understand how I am feeling. There is nothing wrong with that, but it does lead me to a need for a friend who does “get it”. This can be hard to find, but once you do, you know they are someone you don’t want to give up. My Sister and my friend Amanda both offer this to me. They too understand the depression and anxiety issues, as well as the need for me to vent sometimes but neither will let me get too deep into the depression.

Buy an outfit that makes you feel pretty

Confession time. For me, a lot of the time winter depression leads me to bad eating habits. Then I gain weight, and I feel even worse about myself. It becomes a cycle of horrible self-image and depression that can, for me, be life-altering. To help keep me confident and not in that hole that spirals downward, I allow myself the splurge of a new outfit or shirt that makes me feel pretty. Amazon is great for inexpensive skirts, leggings, tunics, cardigans, and dresses that hide my flaws and make me feel pulled together.

Be honest with your doctor

Are you on medication for depression but it isn’t cutting it all the time? Don’t tell your doctor you are okay. Be honest. They cannot effectively treat you unless you let them know your needs. It may not mean a change in medication, but it may mean an additional short-acting prescription for breakthrough anxiety. Just be honest. SAD (seasonal affective disorder) is very real and very hard on many individuals. Your doctor has been trained for this and can help.

Go away for a weekend

One thing I have found that helps me a lot this year is to just get away for a day or two alone. I have never really done this before, but once I started, I realized how vital it is to my emotional health. This is, in fact, one of my best self-care tips for you. They call them girlfriend getaways if you take a friend, but for me, just going by myself is great.

This can be a night at a local hotel with nothing but a good book and room service. It might be a road trip to see family or a friend, alone without kids or a spouse tagging along. There are many ways to make this happen, but the point is to just be you. Alone. Without distractions.  If you happen to book your stay through my Booking link, we’ll both earn a $20 credit back after your stay.

Increase your supplements

Vitamin D is so important, and sunshine is the best way to get that, but if sunshine isn’t available, you may want to look at supplements. Consult with your doctor before beginning any additional medication or supplement routine, just to be safe.

Take time to exercise

This is hard for me since I really don’t enjoy exercise, but when I actually get out there to do it, I feel a ton better. Even just a few days a week of moderate exercise can help boost your mood and keep you healthy.  I joined Planet Fitness for a pretty low cost, but you can find many other gyms that are under $20 a month.

Watch what you are eating

Junk food feels good in the moment, but it doesn’t have great long-term results. Make sure you eat plenty of nutrient-dense foods and avoid the high fat, sugar-laden, or overly processed foods. I follow an 80% good and 20% not as good routine in my diet. Those not as good items aren’t junk but do include things like a pasta dish, or vegan cheese on a sandwich. Maybe a bowl of cereal instead of toast. Focus on eating healthier foods, and especially getting in lots of vitamins from leafy greens is very important.  You may also want to check out our Weight Watchers Support Group on Facebook.

There is no perfect answer to the question of how to prevent SAD. Seasonal Affective Disorder is a problem for many, no matter what medications and treatments are available. That said, self-care plan is one that really does help me to avoid my struggle with SAD. Being able to focus more on myself during the tough months makes a difference for me, and I hope it will for you.

More Women’s Health Topics: 

• Easy Winter Exercise Ideas
• Tips to Improve Your Emotional Well-Being
• Anxiety Coping Techniques for High Functioning Depression
• Endometriosis: What it Feels Like to be Me
• How to Make a Relationship Work with Depression

My husband and I will celebrate ten years of marriage this year, and one thing I know something about is how to build intimacy in marriage. To say these ten years have been simple and smooth sailing would be a lie! The truth is, we have had many bumps in the road and challenges but we have also had lots of joy, fun, and growth. There have been some key things I’ve learned over time that built and keep intimacy alive in our marriage.

6 Ways To Build Intimacy In Marriage

Be Interested in What Interests Your Spouse. It has never been a dream of mine to learn to golf, compete in Triathlons or watch hours of shows on the I.D. channel but these are things my husband enjoys. So, I have found ways to be involved in all these things. I have encouraged him to golf on Sunday afternoons, which is a time I can go with him and I drive the cart and take photos of nature while he plays. I’ve also learned the rules of golf and understand the terminology which makes it more enjoyable for me. It is really the same thing with Triathlons, I encourage him to train, I’ve learned about the sport, I know something about his favorite Pro Triathletes and I never miss a race. As for the I.D. Channel binge watching, let’s just say that I don’t complain when he does it and will sit next to him and read a magazine while he watches.

Listen, Really Listen. Life is hectic and sometimes really listening gets overlooked. In our social media and technology driven world we often think we are connecting when we are really missing out on building quality relationships with the people who are actually in our life. It took me a while to figure out that housework, helping others, church groups, work issues or extended family drama often distracted me from actually stopping to listen to my husband speak. Not only do I put away my phone when he is talking to me, but I also make a point to look at him when he is talking. I have found that making eye contact helps me hear him better and retain what he says. Since I’ve started this, he actually has more to talk to me about than he did before. Really, I shouldn’t be surprised because who wants to talk to someone who clearly isn’t listening?  If you are wanting to truly learn how to build intimacy in marriage, this is one of the most effective things you can do for your relationship.

Pay Attention. This is an area I have recently improved in and it came along with really listening to my husband. When I started listening and watching his actions I picked up on lots of little things I can do to make his life easier. For instance, we have a humidifier in our bedroom and we use it each night. It has to be refilled with water every 2-3 nights and I noticed that he would always fill it which was nice but when I really paid attention, he actually didn’t enjoy this chore. I’ve made it a point to be sure it is filled each evening so he doesn’t have to. In turn, he had watched me walk past the fresh cut flowers at the grocery store and comment on how colorful they were. A few days later, he came home from work with a bouquet of flowers I would never have bought for myself but certainly enjoyed every second of them. Little things go a long way to creating intimacy in marriage.

Be Willing to Compromise. My husband is the most important person to me and I have to always be willing to compromise in order to preserve that relationship. We each came into this marriage with dreams, goals, and a plan. Even if it wasn’t all spoken out loud at the time, we had thoughts of what life together and the future would hold. Combining both of our thoughts and ideas of the future can create conflict and disappointment if we aren’t willing to see our spouse’s viewpoint and compromise. For almost five years, we lived in a city of over 6 million because it was my husband’s dream to live and work there. Some good things came for our time there but as those years came and went our marriage took some tough hits which were partly because of where we lived. After a lot of discussion with each other, we realized that we had to leave there and return to a smaller city with more peace and less chaos in order to preserve our marriage. This was a comprise for both of us. My husband felt like he had to compromise because a dream of his was ending. But I also felt like I had to compromise because after our move I would be working from home, which was difficult for a people person like me. In the end, we both knew it would benefit us far more to make these changes than to stay determined not to compromise.

Take Notes. This may seem simple and unnecessary, but for me, it has done wonders for my ability to improve in the other five areas I have listed. Because all areas of life including work, family, church and my home can pull me in several directions, I have found that keeping a notebook regarding important information for my husband is very helpful. In this notebook, I keep ideas for gifts based on things he has mentioned, subjects to research, ways to pray for him and things I want to work on in myself and our marriage. This is also a place where I list goals we have or ideas we come up with. I’ve planned vacation details and have information about his work here as well. It has been a fun way for me to keep up with his favorites and is a quick resource when I am drawing a blank about something important we’ve talked about. I make and keep notes for other areas of my life so it makes sense to do the same for my marriage.  Building intimacy in marriage isn’t just about physical contact, but about emotional connection and thinking outside the box about ways to become consistent in your pursuit of knowing them better year after year.

Take Care of Your Self. I’ve seen a lot of women neglect their own needs and wants in the name of taking care of their spouse. There has been more than one season in my life where I was guilty of this. What I have learned is that my husband takes notice when I am confident. It’s always easier to feel confident when you are taking care of yourself. This looks different for each person. Maybe, it means taking 20 minutes of quiet to clear your mind, taking a hot bath each evening, shaving your legs and putting on lipstick. For me, it means having quiet time each morning, praying, getting more sunshine, working out regularly and eating food that makes me feel well.

By doing these things I have increased our intimacy in marriage in the long lasting important ways.  While physical things are always important, knowing our relationship is strong is vital. Over time, I have discovered that my husband isn’t really different from me, because just like me, he wants a partner that is involved in his life, knowledgeable of his interests and one who encourage him to grow.

More relationship tips:

• 7 Ways To Rekindle Romance In Your Relationship
• 15 Reasons To Take A Shower With Your Spouse
• Making Your Family A Priority When Working From Home

Anxiety Coping Tactics that work for me may not be the same as what will work for you. However, I have found that these tips make life a little easier, and I wanted to share with you. No matter what triggers your anxiety, you may find that a few little things will help make your life easier to manage.

Anxiety Coping Tactics for High Functioning Depression

This post may contain affiliate links from Amazon. I earn a small commission from purchases made via these links.  

Clean the kitchen before bed

I cannot tell you how important this little thing has been for me.  After asking about this on my Facebook page a few months ago, I found out that I certainly wasn’t alone.  There is just something about walking in and seeing things clean and orderly in that important room of the house.  For me, specifically, it has to do with morning stress of getting everyone breakfast ready in time.  Being able to walk in and see that my counters, stove, and sink are clean makes it mentally easier for me to tackle meal prep the rest of the day.

Create a daily schedule

Routine has helped me tremendously as I battle depression.  Often times, I get stuck on one thing and the OCD nature of my depression kicks into high gear.  When this happens, I may lose hours to something trivial, and then I feel overwhelmed by my daily tasks.  What has helped me the most was setting multiple alarms on my phone, and to use a daily planner. I like the Bloom Daily Planners as they aren’t dated, and you can start using the first page any time of year.  Plus, they are super pretty.

I break down my week keeping the weekends free from any obligations so that I can enjoy time with my son and spouse.  This is vital to my family unit, but also to me individually.  The rest of the week, I break down by mandatory tasks.  I have an alarm set each morning that reminds me to stop my household chores and get started on work.  If I haven’t finished something like cleaning the bathroom or folding laundry when the alarm goes off, I allow myself one snooze (5 minutes) and then I stop and go back to it after my son is home from school.

You can use your phone for these alarms, or pick up a kitchen timer.  I prefer a digital kitchen timer over the more traditional since the clicking noise as it counts down can be distracting to me.

Disciplining myself to break down my work needs and my client needs throughout the week has been a must.  Sometimes, doctors appointments or school breaks make it a bit harder to stick to, but I usually have enough warning that I can adjust.

Accept your need for self-care

This has been a gigantic factor for me.  When I am feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and depressed, I need to take care of myself.  In the past, I would plow right through and focus on all the “things” to be done.  The result was that I would explode into tears, or worse, anger, over nothing.

One of my big self-care things this year was to actually send my son to a Montessori school instead of homeschooling him. I knew, that if I wanted to be happier and healthier, I needed that time alone during the days.  More importantly, I realized that I was not what he needed in a teacher, and I had to accept that.  The result has been amazing for both of us.  Despite a few days of him being sick (ugh germs at school), I realize that this has been huge for me.

Other options for self-care are: 

• Take a nap when you need one.
• Read a good book that makes you laugh or feel good or read something inspiring.  I love the Affirmators! cards to read each day!
• Ask for help with household chores from your spouse or children.
• Have lunch or coffee with a friend.
• Take a weekend away – ALONE.
• Go to the library, zoo, or mall by yourself and just relax
• Get your hair done professionally or grab some Manic Panic and go bright blue like I did.
• Get a manicure or pedicure.
• Sit outside in the sunshine and just enjoy nature.
• Go for a hike, walk, or jog.
• Join a gym or use workout videos like the classic Richard Simmons Sweatin’ to the Oldie’s DVD’s to exercise at home.
• Buy new lipstick, makeup, or a clothing item

Schedule regular breaks from daily routine

I have to have my routine and daily schedule, but I also know that for my personality all work and no play leaves me even more anxious and depressed.  As I mentioned above, I typically take off the weekends to spend with my family.  I also cushion my weekly routine with a few hours to just read, relax, or even go shopping.  This extra time is scheduled into my week to help me take care of me.  If I am not okay, then nobody in my house is going to be okay.  My anxiety and depression do make me hard to be around, so I need to care for myself to care for them.

Remove toxic people from your life

This is one of those things that I can’t recommend enough.  The right kind of people in your life can make a huge difference in your happiness.  Having toxic relationships can drag you down and definitely make your anxiety and depression harder to deal with in tough times.  In my life, the toxic relationships were people who constantly complained, had nothing positive to say to me, and yes, even a few family members.

As I have healed, counseled, and grown emotionally over the last few years, I have also been able to add some of the family members back into my circle.  Slowly, but surely, I have grown in strength to know when to stop or cut them off if needed to protect my emotions.  It is hard, but it truly can make a huge difference.

While I realize that not everyone with high functioning depression or anxiety will benefit from these little tips, they have helped me.  Sharing my own experiences with you is a way to help others know they are not alone in this journey.

More Health Tips: 

• How to Make a Relationship Work with Depression
• Tips to Improve Your Emotional Well Being
• How to Save on Mental Health Resources
• 3 Types of Abuse Not Recognized by Most
• 5 Ways to Defeat the Winter Blues